i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
