if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
