I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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