hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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