Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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