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I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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