he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
