Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Non-Jews are for practice
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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