Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
barbara walters just said penis...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
