i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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