And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
