K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
