I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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