i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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