We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As shirtless as possible
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
