My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
