To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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