Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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