I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
