Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
