I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
