I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
