i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
