Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
