PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
