OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
