So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im six kinds of drunk right now
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
