its not stalking. its research.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
