I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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