Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
