You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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