Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
