i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
