As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
