Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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