Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
