Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
