I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
