I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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