things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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