you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
