through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
