wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
