are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
