I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
