you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
