Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
