You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
