u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
