you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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