Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
