okay pat passed out under dana's car
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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