i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
