My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
