OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
