Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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