Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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