he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
